I Won’t Allow It

Kesha (a.k.a. "Ke$ha") may often be lumped together with kid-friendly acts (who can forget her odd pairing with Justin Bieber at the Grammys), but she made her true colors clear Friday night, vowing to avoid becoming a douchebag and calling the New Year a bitch live on "New Year's Rockin' Eve."

Kesha (or Ke$ha as she annoyingly stylizes her name) ensured she would not be invited back on “Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve” as she made her premiere on the venerable New Year’s Eve staple Friday night.

The 2010 “it” girl clashed with the family-friendly image of Dick Clark and Disney-owned ABC network during her performance of “We Are Who We Are” and “Tik Tok,” encouraging viewers to “make 2011 our bitch” and getting a shoulder ride from a poorly costumed Santa while wearing a showgirl-esque leotard and ripped fishnet stockings.

Not quite satisfied (or perhaps completely sober), Kesha went on to earn a unique Google auto-fill search when co-host Ryan Seacrest asked the hard-partying entertainer for her New Year’s resolution shortly after the midnight ball drop.  “Not to become a douchebag” was the 23-year-old’s ironic response, as she donned a pair of light-up “2011″ novelty glasses and matching blue neon lipstick bright enough to sear the entire nation’s collective retinas.

As Kesha uncomfortably swayed to “New York, New York” and other New-York- and New-Year’s-friendly tunes blaring over Times Square’s loudspeakers, a young, long-haired boy joined the party, hugging the California native and mugging for the camera.  Not quite old enough to be her younger brother, we can only assume he was a nephew, cousin or other family member.

In contrast, The Backstreet Boys and New Kids on the Block got fully into the spirit, singing along and giving Seacrest (who is a bit of a douchebag, himself), real answers to his canned questions.

While we genuinely enjoy Kesha’s raw pop style (“Your Love Is My Drug” was one of our favorite tunes of 2010 and the music video was deliciously trippy), we can’t help but wonder if Kesha is falling down the Taylor Momsen rabbit hole of just doing and saying whatever the hell she wants whenever the hell she wants.  It’s admirable not wanting to censor your art, but “New Year’s Rockin’ Eve” isn’t the best place to let the borderline expletives fly.

While some posit that Kesha’s party-girl image is just an act, after tonight’s performance, we really have to wonder.  Please, Kesha, dial it back before you flame out.

Posted in Musicians
Tags: 2011, bitch, Dick Clark, Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve, douchebag, Ke$ha, Kesha, Ryan Seacrest, Sebert

Moderates unite!

After a long hiatus, we felt compelled to briefly go off topic.  Later today, Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert will hold their respective Rally to Restore Sanity and March to Keep Fear Alive in Washington.  Because we were unable to attend, we wanted to show our moderate spirit by outlining what we felt were the guiding principles of the sane and reasonable people in our country (a.k.a. the majority).

1. We may disagree with political leaders, but we won’t try to cloud the judgment of others or sully the memory of those who have suffered at the hands of brutal dictators by likening them to Hitler, Stalin or even Vlad the Impaler.
2. Regardless of who is occupying the White House at any given time, we are not deluded enough to believe that America is one step away from becoming a totalitarian nightmare or a socialist dystopia.
3. We believe in a healthy mixture of personal responsibility and government oversight.  We do not believe that the government is the cause of or solution to all of society’s problems.  It is not inherently flawed or inherently perfect.  It should neither by completely absent nor omnipresent.
4. We prefer our news without a political bent and recognize that true journalism is unbiased.  We realize that just because a news source doesn’t espouse a particular political philosophy, it does not mean that news source is being dishonest or antagonistic.  We are able to tell the difference between news and opinion and prefer to decide the issues for ourselves based on the untarnished facts.
5. We are proud of our country (often extremely so), but not to the point of jingoism.  We believe in gradual change and not the “baseball bat” approach to reform.  We believe there is no justification to repeal any part of the Constitution or eliminate long-standing social welfare programs, such as Social Security or Medicare.
6. We are practical and well informed and expect our political candidates and leaders to be the same.  Demagogues need not apply.
7. We are tolerant of the views of others and respect the right of all Americans, indeed all human beings, to hold their own views on politics, economics and religion.  We resent being marginalized with knee-jerk labels, like “socialist” or “Nazi” (see number 1), simply because we disagree.  We do not use divisive or disdainful terms when debating issues (e.g., “Obamacare,” “anti-choice” or “pro-abortion”).
8. Finally, we believe the shrillest, loudest voice is not always right and prefer rational argument to red-faced shouting matches or unmoderated ambushes.  We believe in decorum.

Have a part of the moderate creed you’d like to add or disagree with one of the points above?  Leave a comment.

Posted in Politics
Tags: conservative, credo, Jon Stewart, liberal, March to Keep Fear Alive, moderate, rally, Rally to Restore Sanity, Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear, Stephen Colbert

Anna Chapman and her cohorts may have come as close to toppling the Western World as animated bumblers Boris and Natasha, but with a stare like that, does one really need to play a part in global domination to feel accomplished?

We must admit we hadn’t been paying too close attention to the Russian spy scandal, but when we came across this article in British tabloid “News of the World” about fire-haired spy goddess Anya “Anna” Chapman, we were smitten.

Yes, she may have been caught red handed trying to facilitate the passage of sensitive information to a government ambivalent to our cherished U. S. of A. (and subsequently deported), but studies have shown that a woman’s perceived attractiveness to a heterosexual man is not diminished by any dislike of her personality.  Between the nude photos and stories of nipple clamps, whips and almost-daily wild sex (both thanks to her ex-husband), we’re not sure we have the fortitude to prove those studies wrong.

We, here at IWONTALLOWIT.COM, certainly don’t condone what Ms. Chapman did, but we might not go as far as to mind sharing an evening of caviar and conversation with her in a dimly lit Moscow restaurant.  After all, principles never stopped James Bond from enjoying the company of a comely villainess or two.

Posted in Crime
Tags: Anna, Anna Chapman, Anya, Anya Chapman, Chapman, Goddess, Russian, Spy

R.I.P. Brittany Murphy (1977-2009)

We, here at IWONTALLOWIT.COM, just wanted to express our deepest sympathies to actress Brittany Murphy’s friends and family.  The 32-year-old star of “Clueless” and “Don’t Say a Word” suddenly passed away this weekend, and it was well before this versatile artist’s time.

Though Brittany’s live-action legacy is what she’ll be remembered for, we’ll remember her most fondly as puppet-wielding Luanne Platter on Mike Judge’s “King of the Hill.”  Whether stumping for a communistic presidential candidate because she liked the color of his tie or taking a giant talking cowboy hostage, Brittany contributed greatly to the success of this classic comedy series and gave us countless hours of free entertainment.

R.I.P. Brittany Murphy  (1977-2009)

Posted in Actresses, Film, Television
Tags: Brittany Murphy, Clueless, condition, death, dies, Don't Say a Word, drug, heart, King of the Hill, Luanne, overdose, Platter

Amanda Knox has little to smile about in the wake of her conviction, but we know she will stay strong once the shock wears off and the appeals process begins. We look forward to her exoneration.

Amanda Knox was martyred on the altar of anti-Americanism Friday, when an Italian jury of eight convicted our Goddess of Justice of killing her British roommate, leading to a swift sentencing of 26 years behind bars.

Clearly a decision the jurors reached based on tabloid sensationalism (O.J. Simpson should thank his lucky stars he wasn’t tried in Italy) and character assassination by an overzealous and corrupt prosecutor, the now-22-year-old Knox never had a chance.

Lead prosecutor Giuliano Mignini is now set to kick up his heels in triumph and let someone else handle the appeals process, which is Knox’s last hope to see the other side of a prison cell before the age of 48.

We sympathize with Knox and hope our Goddess of Justice realizes that while the British and Italian media at large think she’s a cold-blooded, salacious killer, most Americans familiar with the case know she’s been unfairly accused and imprisoned.

Most sickening is that Mignini isn’t simply satisfied with a conviction; he’s determined to break Knox, having requested she be kept in solitary confinement during daylight hours.  Fortunately, the jury turned down that request.

Stay strong, Amanda.  While the conviction is a major setback, all hope has yet to be extinguished.  As long as you know you’re innocent and maintain your dignity, they can never break you, no matter how long they keep you locked up.

Posted in Crime, Politics
Tags: Amanda Knox, appeal, Giuliano Mignini, guilty, innocent, Italian, Italy, jail, Meredith Kercher, murder, Perugia, prison, Raffaele Sollecito, Rudy Guede, Rudy Hermann Guede, Seattle, University for Foreigners, Washington

We shudder when we think back on the 150 minutes we wasted last night having both our and Megan Fox's dignity stripped away at "Transformers 2."

Okay, so we finally got around to seeing “Transformers 2″ last night and thought that if we couldn’t expect a decent story, at least we could look forward to 2 hours plus of ogling the divine Megan Fox.  Boy, were we wrong.

Ninety-five percent of the crapfest that Michael Bay had the audacity to hoist onto the American public consisted of mindless, frenetic, unintelligible CGI fight sequences.  By the time the “film,” if it could so be called, was over, the grand total of rockets, lasers and bullets fired must have numbered in the hundreds of thousands.

Rather than veil the movie with at least a semblance of a plot and a dash of human humor and drama, which made the first “Transformers” charming for all its faults, the best the “writers,” if they could so be called, could do was force Megan Fox to utter cutesy lines about boys, offer incredibly unnecessary and awkward underwear shots of both the male and female cast and use a diminutive robot humping Ms. Fox’s leg as a rather pathetic representation of the horny fanboy community at large.

Michael Bay is not known for his subtlety, but there is a way to mix action, humor and drama without hitting the audience over the head with a bevy of misplaced jokes and sight gags that even the under-18 audience surely did not appreciate being patronized with.  When we hear vloggers air their laundry lists of technical deficiencies and script inconsistencies, we wonder if it was even necessary for them to go into such detail with such obvious flaws ripe for mocking.

We’re sorry the incredible and irrepressible Ms. Fox allowed herself to be used in this way, but we understand that when you have a limited body of work and you get offered millions to reprise your role in the sequel to the summer blockbuster that made you a household name, you can’t say “no.”  We just hope “Jennifer’s Body” is as good as it looks and that her performance comes off at worst as campy, rather than the abomination this was.

Posted in Actresses, Film
Tags: director, fanboys, fandom, Goddess, gorgeous, Hitler, Megan Fox, Michael Bay, sequel, Shia Labeouf, Transformers, Transformers 2, Transformers 3

Though "The O.C.'s" Mischa Barton, who carried that drama squarely on her shoulders, looks resplendent in this promotional shot for Bulgari's "Save the Children" line of jewelry, we can't help but think more good would come if people just gave the money they would spend on these rings and pendants directly to charity.

So, we visited “The O.C.” goddess Mischa Barton’s official blog, today, because we were concerned about the troubled actress’ recent commitment to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center, and were truly disgusted by her second most recent blog entry, posted on July 2.

In the post, the lovely Ms. Barton hyped her participation in Bulgari’s (or “Bvlgari’s,” if you’re touched in the head) latest charity initiative— making sterling silver pendants and rings to benefit Save the Children’s Rewrite the Future campaign.

That’s all well and good, except the pieces cost 290 euros each, only 50 of which go to the international children’s organization. So, basically, instead of giving 290 euros directly to Save the Children and doing good simply for the sake of doing good, you’d be giving 240 euros to Bulgari and 50 to Save the Children, so you could impress your socialista friends with big, shiny proof that you care about the impoverished, undereducated and starving wretches of the world, albeit slightly less than you care about adorning yourself in finery.

Mischa wasn’t the only offender on the Bulgari charity Web site and was in the company of some of our other favorites, including her former on-screen lesbian lover, Olivia Wilde, and Ginnifer Goodwin of HBO’s “Big Love.”

Now, it’s not that we begrudge Mischa or the impressive number of celebs hocking the rings and pendants, as the campaign raises awareness of Save the Children and 50 euros is better than zero if it gets people to buy the jewelry who never would have bothered to make a direct donation to Save the Children.

It just bothers us that anonymous donation has fallen out of favor and no one wants to do someone philanthropic if he doesn’t get something tangible in return, be it a fancy bauble or the recognition of his peers.

We take the same issue with the “Red” campaign. Instead of buying a T-shirt simply because a small amount of the purchase goes to charity, why not buy whatever T-shirt you think looks good on you and make a direct donation?

At any rate, Mischa does seem to genuinely care about the needy children around the globe, and we hope she works with her doctors to get better.

We’re excited to see “Homecoming,” her new big-screen thriller with Jessica Stroup, as well as her upcoming CW series with Sara Paxton. The production of the series, “The Beautiful Life,” has been postponed, officially because of trouble completing the sets, but realistically because Mischa is still in the hospital. We hope it doesn’t get scrapped or recast, as for all of Mischa’s personal demons, she is an intense and dedicated actress.

Posted in Actresses, Charity
Tags: Bulgari, Bvlgari, Cedars-Sinai, charity, committment, Homecoming, Jessica Stroup, lesbian, Mischa Barton, Olivia Wilde, psychiatric hold, rehab, Sara Paxton, The Beautiful Life, The O.C.

Allison Iraheta's simple taste in comedy underscores her youthful and optimistic personality.

We were reading a recent Movieline interview with our favorite red-headed rasper, “American Idol’s” Allison Iraheta, and were delighted to find out that one of her favorite movie scenes of all time was from “Ace Ventura 2: When Nature Calls.”

The better of the two “Ace Ventura” films, in our opinion, the scene involved star Jim Carrey becoming trapped inside an hydraulicly operated rhinoceros decoy, which the pet detective was using to spy on a suspect in the hot African savannah.  Of course, the on-board fan breaks, causing Carrey to strip down naked and finally expel himself from the decoy’s groin, shocking the hell out of some American tourists who have just happened by and think they are witnessing the birth of a baby rhino.

We appreciate that the lovely Ms. Iraheta shares our taste in comedy, although she loses points for calling the movie “Ace Ventura: Pet Detective” and not realizing the scene was actually from the movie’s sequel.  C’mon, Allison; if it’s really one of your favorite movie  scenes, you could at least get the title right!

Posted in Musicians, Television
Tags: Ace Ventura, Ace Ventura 2, Ace Ventura 2: When Nature Calls, Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, Allison Iraheta, American Idol, Pet Detective, Pretty Hot in These Rhinos, rhinoceros, rhinos, When Nature Calls

Amanda Knox turned 22 in jail Thursday, another year stolen away from her forever. If mob justice prevails and Amanda spends the rest of her life in jail for a crime she didn't commit, it will be a great travesty and a terrible sacrifice she was never asked to make.

We took a look on Google News to see if there were any recent updates in the Amanda Knox case and were saddened to read that Ms. Knox turned 22 on Thursday of last week in the splendor of an Italian jail.  If this kangaroo court hadn’t stolen nearly two years of her life away, she’d have graduated college this past spring and been out in the world making her way.

Of course, President Obama didn’t visit her during his trip to Italy for the environmental summit, because he didn’t want to upset our Italian allies, who want innocent Amanda’s head on a stake, but at least she was surrounded by family and friends.

Pretty soon the jurors, judges and prosecutors are going to take a summer recess, leaving Ms. Knox to rot in jail while they take in some sun.  Why can’t they do their job and finish up this trial, so Amanda can learn her fate?

At this rate, experts believe it’ll be around Thanksgiving time when a verdict is finally rendered.  Here’s hoping Amanda’ll be spending Thanksgiving at home in the United States, where our justice system isn’t fundamentally corrupt, and that this schizophrenic prosecutor who thinks Satan and his minions are lurking around every corner is the one who ends up behind bars.

Posted in Crime
Tags: Amanda Knox, appeal, Giuliano Mignini, guilty, innocent, Italian, Italy, jail, Meredith Kercher, murder, Perugia, prison, Raffaele Sollecito, Rudy Guede, Rudy Hermann Guede, Seattle, University for Foreigners, Washington